Thursday, June 6, 2013

How to Kill a Great Idea (satire)

I've decided to go all satire on you, and tell you how to kill a great idea. If you do the opposite of the things below, it should help you realize you're on the right track. So, instead of knowing what to do, you'll know what not to do.

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So, let's have fun killing a great idea!


  1. Form your own special committee

    A good way to get started on your idea is to form a committee, so you have no accountability on who else likes the idea or whether customers are going to be okay with it. Make sure the committee can look over the idea and make sure that only they like it and never test it with anybody outside the company.

    Be totally selfish with the idea, making sure no one knows about it but your own private committee (or board).
  2. Control the idea big time!

    Before executing the idea, write a bunch of parameters/rules and make sure no one else can access the full text of it (you know, so they can't steal it). Freedom is your enemy when it comes to great ideas. If no one can help with your idea and read over it, give you pointers, etc. - then that means it's all yours!
  3. Don't let women get involved

    Everybody knows women get paid less than men, and this occupation, it's especially true. Don't give women credit, because if you do, people will call us weak!
  4. Execute the idea without divine intervention

    Not sure on too many of you entrepreneurs, but asking God for help on this idea is out of the question. We can do it ourselves, we don't need divine intervention or assistance with out great idea. It may strain us to death, but as long as we're still standing, we can do it all ourselves.
  5. Don't let any young worker get their hands dirty

    Letting a new young employee get his hands dirty on your new idea is a great way to ruin it and ruin the whole project. Keep young people, inexperienced and uneducated, out!
  6. Vote on the idea

    Figure out who likes it, before the idea is produced, to see if it's a good idea or not. Besides, testing it would be a waste of time. As long as it's a good idea and we make it, it'll sell big time!
  7. Make it solely your responsibility or everybody else's responsibility

    No sharing responsibilities. Either do all the work yourself, or make everyone else do it while you site lazy. It'll be awesome to not have to do any work. Or maybe if myself did all the work, then I could get all credit and all the money for it. Yeah, we'll go with that.
Hopefully, this helps you know how to kill a great idea! Don't comment here, so I don't think you like this article.

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Just kidding, comment if you like. Hope you enjoyed the satire.

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